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Championship Parenting of
the Athletic student-athlete
Winning the
Mind Game:
by D. Scott Ward, Ph.D.
A number of my friends have recently
become mothers and fathers of
potentially great athletes. I
predict greatness from these
just-out-of-the-womb superstars
because of opportunity. Not because
their parents are former athletes
who themselves had great success in
college and professional sports, but
because every parent has the
opportunity to help their
student-athlete succeed. All kids,
if interested in athletics, should
get the best of parental support.
Championship parenting of the
athletic student-athlete takes a lot
of effort, but it's all worth it
when great athletes boast that their
parents played a key roll in their
success.
There is no question in my mind that
parents of young athletes want the
best for their student-athletes. The
following is a TOP-FIVE list for
Championship Parenting of the
Athletic student-athlete. If you
coach young athletes, give it to
your athletes' parents. If you are a
parent, use the list for guidance.
If you are a young athlete, this
list will be helpful, talk about it
with your parents.
1) Make sure that your
student-athlete know that - win or
lose - you love them, appreciate the
efforts and are never disappointed.
This will allow them to do their
best and avoid developing a fear of
failure based on the dread of
disapproval and family
disappointment. Be the person in
their life that can be looked upon
for constant positive reinforcement.
2) Try your best to be
completely honest with yourself
about your student-athletes athletic
capability, competitive attitude,
sportsmanship and actual skill
level. Good communication with your
student-athlete will help you know
if they want to be more competitive
in a specific sport. Ask your
student-athlete if they want to go
to a summer camp, (basketball,
football, tennis, etc.), don't force
them.
3) Be helpful but don't
"coach" on the way to the track,
diamond, field or court ... on the
way back ... at breakfast ... and so
on. Sure it's tough not to, but it's
a lot tougher for student-athlete to
be inundated with advice, pep talks
and often critical instruction.
4) Try not to re-live your
athletic life through your
student-athlete. There are enough
pressures on your student-athlete as
it is. Try not to add any because of
your pride. Many very good young
athletes stop participating in
sports because of the unpleasantness
of the home after a competition.
Athletic student-athlete need their
parents, so you must not withdraw.
If your young athletes are
comfortable with you - win or lose -
they are on their way to maximal
achievement and enjoyment - and you
will get your kicks too!
5) Don't compete with the
coach. The young athlete often comes
home and chatters on about "coach
says this, coach says that." This is
often hard to take, especially for
the mother or father who has had
some sports experience. When a
certain degree of disenchantment
about a coach sets in, some parents
side with the youngster and are
happy to see the coach shot down.
This is a mistake. It should provide
a chance to discuss (not lecture)
with the youngster the importance of
learning how to handle problems,
react to criticism and understand
the necessity for discipline, rules
and regulations.
Parenting a young athlete is quite
difficult and takes a lot of effort
to be done well. The practices,
competitions, traveling and expenses
take time, energy and money. This
alone should inspire parents to do
the right thing with their young
athletes. Give your student-athlete
the opportunity to be successful.
Teach them to enjoy the thrill of
competition, to be out there trying,
working to improve skills and
attitudes, taking the physical bumps
and coming back for more. Don't say
"winning doesn't matter" because it
does. Instead, help develop the feel
for competing, trying hard, and
having fun.
If you have any questions or
comments about this article or any
other sport psychology topic, you
can e-mail
Mind Games at
scottw@coachsedge.com
PHS PARENT/COACH
COMMUNICATIONS
The entire
PHS basketball staff is
encouraged to keep the lines of
communication open with our
athletes and their families. It
is our intent to supply you with
all of the essential information
that you will need to manage
your commitment to athletics
successfully. Many times parents
have many questions and concerns
that they feel the need to
discuss with their student
athlete's coaches. We make every
effort to hire the best possible
leaders for its athletic
programs. Our coaches are
professionals; they make
judgment decisions based on what
is best for the entire team
taking into account every member
of the team. This is not an easy
task and sometimes people feel
poorly about their role on a
team. These men work extremely
hard for little or sometimes no
financial benefit, they do it
because they love working with
kids and realize the positive
benefit of participation in
interscholastic athletics. The
following are some guidelines
and policies to help facilitate
the most productive and
efficient communication with
your students' coaches.
WHEN TO CONTACT A COACH:
Communication with coaches is
most productive when an
appointment can be made by the
Student-Athlete first, to sit
down and talk about the issue in
private.
PARENTS
SHOULD NEVER APPROACH A COACH
FIRST!
Parents
should only get involved
after your student-athlete has
gone to their coach with the
issue(s) and you
feel
there is no acceptable
resolution. This is how it
works in the real world and that
is exactly what we are trying to
prepare your student athlete
for.
Players /Parents
are encouraged to discuss:
1. The treatment of their
student
2. Ways to help their student
improve
3. Concerns regarding their
student's behavior
4. Coaches philosophy
5. Coaches expectations and role
for their student and the team
6. Team rules and policies
7. Disciplinary action incurred
by their child
8. The college recruiting
process
9. Ways in which they can help
the team (fundraising, pasta
nights etc.)
10. Their student's progress
Players/Parents are not to
ask about or discuss:
1. Placement on teams (C Team,
Junior Varsity, Varsity etc.)
2. Playing time
3. Coaching strategies used
during practice or contests
4. Other student athletes
5. Problems with other
coaches/teachers
Communication
Procedure:
If a problem should arise
please make every effort to
follow the following steps for a
productive resolution.
1. Student athlete approaches
the coach with problem or issue
and talk with the coach one on
one.
2. If a resolution cannot
be reached with the Coach and
Student, THEN the parent
should contact the coach by
phone or email and arrange for a
private meeting. In
addition, please Go directly to
the head coach of the team your
son is playing for not the
Varsity head coach if your son
is playing for a lower level
team. That Coach will inform the
Varsity head coach of such a
meeting between player and coach
and or if necessary parental
involvement.
We thank you in advance for
following these communication
procedures. We all want to be a
part of a winning tradition and
we appreciate all players and
their parents in complying with
these procedures for
communication.
Sincerely,
Coach Rawlings
PHS Basketball Head Coach
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